Talking about Sex   Leave a comment

My research shows that women talk about sex, and their sexual problems, with each other far more than the men are prepared to. Men will rarely admit they have a problem – especially with erection problems – but women want to know and will talk to their female friends about intimate problems.

It is a fact that if you do not seek an answer to your problem, the problem will not go away, and will probably get worse. Problems need not be physical, they can be emotional, too. Your doctor, whether they be male or female, will have heard your problem very often – so do not think you are a one-off; that would be most unlikely.

A recent survey by Balance Activ showed that women in the 18 to 24 age group are nearly three times more likely to avoid (too embarrassed) talking to their doctor about sexual health than the over-55s. Instead, 92% go online to self-diagnose. If you are one of those, you may be lucky and find the right answer – but you could also mis-diagnose because you are unaware of the underlying cause of your perceived problem. If your female friends are sensible they will listen sympathetically, and then suggest you get a professional view from your doctor.

Hey Guys, listen up, because you’re not just worse than the girls at talking about a problem but we have to drag you to the doctor’s by horse and cart before you will talk about sexual health in any way to anyone. You are not doing yourself any favours. You might actually have a bigger problem building, hiding behind the symptoms that you are aware of. Did you realise that even minor erectile problems can be a sign of ‘silent’ heart disease? An Australian study published in PLOS Medecine advised men with any degree of erectile dysfunction should seek medical help.

I’ve been thinking that I should have titled my recent book ‘Fellas, how to get your girl into bed’ with a sub-title ‘Ladies, how to make your man love you the way you want’. Because it not only contains detailed intimate sexual information – the kind of thing you want to know but don’t know who to ask, even if were brave enough to ask about taboos – but also how to recognise problems, how to communicate to your lover exactly what you need and how/when you want it – whether you are male or female.

So here’s a book you can refer to, whatever the problem, at any time; and if you still need to go online to expand your knowledge, once you have bought the book you can write to me in absolute confidence here.

Love and sex go together – enjoy it the way you want, with a little help from what’s going on to spicing up your love life, with Clive.

By the way, if you have a copy of the New York Times, today they published a review of Exploring Sex, Love and Lust. And it’s pretty awesome.  One female New Yorker already emailed me, “It is a real pleasure to see so much good and sensible advice brought together in your book. I think you did a masterful job with a lot of difficult topics. Bravo!”

When you’ve read the book, tell me what you think – even better, post a review on Amazon. Thank you.

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