Archive for May 2016

Avoiding Sexual Rejection   Leave a comment

This is not about sexual interest in women’s behavior in the context of men’s early encounters, where studies have shown that men tend to perceive greater sexual interest in women’s behavior than actually exists – known as ‘sexual over-perception bias’. But men’s perceptions within long term relationships, or marriages, of around 6 years or more.

Here’s the surprise: men always underestimate their wive’s libido!

Men want to avoid the disappointment of sexual rejection which could lead them feeling upset or resentful, and so frequently miss opportunities for sex by not realizing that in fact, according to research, women in long-term relationships or marriages are open to having sex on many more nights than their partners realize.

But, and here’s the rub, when women are open to the possibility of having sex, they will not necessarily take the initiative – and so their partners could simply fall asleep, not realizing they have missed their opportunity.

This news was reported today in the UK’s Daily Mail and drawn from three studies carried out by psychologists at the University of Toronto and the University of Western Ontario in Canada, and was published earlier this month in the Journal of Personality of Social Psychology.

The findings show that, unlike during first encounters, men in long-term relationships actually demonstrate an ‘under-perception bias’. Researcher Dr Kristen Mark said: ‘The assumption that women are going to be the lower-desire partner needs to be thrown out.’

This puts even more emphasis on the importance of communication – a skill developed as your relationship grows – helped along the way by reading up the chapter devoted to this life essential in Exploring Sex, Love and Lust. Don’t miss out on having sex tonight, or any night; be enlightened!

Happy love-making.



Complexities of Seminal fluid   Leave a comment

What most men want to know is ‘what’s my sperm count?’ Then they may want to know whether their ejaculate has sufficient volume to make the distance from copulation to egg. Mostly, I think, they just want to enjoy the moment.

But if you’re thinking of making babies, here’s something else to consider:

I have written much about the constituents of seminal fluid, and how to influence its volume, taste, smell, and texture – all in the interests of more pleasurable sex – and have also held the opinion that, like your mouth, the vagina, despite its defensive lining and fluids, can actually absorb some elements of fluids left within its cavity. My theory is that some of the hormone testosterone in the man’s ejaculate is actually absorbed by the female via her vagina – leading to the occasional ‘top-up’ for her libido, or sex drive, thus more frequent sex maintaining her desire. (read about this, and a whole lot more, in Exploring Sex, Love and Lust).

This theory is known as ‘telegony’ and was first proposed by Aristotle in ancient Greece. It was one of the reasons kings were banned from marrying divorcees. Not for the reason I just suggested but because offspring can take on the characteristics and appearances of a previous lover! This theory has since been discredited thanks to the advent of genetics – BUT scientists (writing in the journal Ecology and Evolution), have now suggested flings can influence the offspring of future mates.

Professor Russell Bonduriansky, University of New South Wales, in Australia said, ‘Males contribute DNA to fertilize an egg, but we believe there is something more complex going on.’

This could be because seminal fluid is chemically complex, with messenger molecules called RNA floating in the liquid. Professor Bonduriansky added, ‘There is evidence these RNAs can play a role in embryonic development. But the jury is still out on exactly what effects these molecules have.’

Worth bearing in mind every time you have sex without a condom – it isn’t just STDs you’re avoiding, it could be your baby not looking much like its father!

Happy love-making.